Spongebob Squarepants, one of the most beloved TV shows of all time, has been around since 1999. That’s 18 years of bringing laughter and joy to millions of people worldwide.

His cute character, silly humor, and clever one-liners never fail to bring a smile to our faces.
When you’re down in the dumps, sometimes all you need to lift your spirits are some quality SpongeBob quotes.
Although some of them make no sense whatsoever, they’re still pretty great in their own bizarre way!
There’s no shortage of funny quotes from the show, but these 68 SpongeBob quotes are some of the best that you can use in daily life when you need a chuckle or just want to brighten someone’s day.
Here are some of our favorites… Enjoy!
I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes. ―SpongeBob

I’m a good noodle! — SpongeBob

A Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, huh? I guess I could use one of those. —SpongeBob

All I know is fine dining and breathing. —SpongeBob

Always follow your heart – unless your heart is bad with directions… —SpongeBob

And tonight, after my big promotion, we’re gonna party till we’re purple. —SpongeBob

Aye-aye, captain. —SpongeBob

Can I be excused for the rest of my life? —SpongeBob

Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face. —SpongeBob

F is for friends who do stuff together! —SpongeBob

Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material. —SpongeBob

Good people don’t rip other people’s arms off. —SpongeBob

Hello, we’re with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises. —SpongeBob

Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24… 25. —SpongeBob

I have a square head and a real ghost has a round one. All we have to do is make my head round and boo, I’m scary. —SpongeBob

I have worked for Mr. Krabs for many years and always thought he was a great boss. —SpongeBob

I knew a guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy’s cousin… —SpongeBob

I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charm. Indoors, indoors, indoors. —SpongeBob

I’m ready, I’m ready. —SpongeBob

I’m so loyal, I don’t mind sleeping out in the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent. —SpongeBob

I’m ugly and I’m proud. —SpongeBob

It took three days to make that potato salad, three days!!. —SpongeBob

You never really know the true value of a moment, until it becomes a memory. —SpongeBob

SpongeBob on the Power of Imagination
With imagination, you can be anything you want. —SpongeBob

We don’t need television…not as long as we have our imagination. —SpongeBob

Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly. —SpongeBob

Squidward that’s not the peace treaty, that’s a copy of the peace treaty. —SpongeBob

Funny Quotes by Squidward
Another day, another migraine. —Squidward

But it’s my only night to be fancy. —Squidward

Everybody’s a critic. —Squidward

Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you. —Squidward

Future, future, future. —Squidward

Hello. You’ve reached the house of unrecognized talent. —Squidward

How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors. —Squidward

I knew I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed today. —Squidward

I might as well sleep for 100 years or so. —Squidward

I order the food, you cook the food. The customer gets the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die. —Squidward

You’re terrible! A hydro-what. —Squidward

Hilarious Quotes by Mr. Krabs
A five-letter word for happiness…money. —Mr. Krabs

Congratulations, sir! You have just given me my one-millionth dollar. —Mr. Krabs

Did you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells… smelly. —Mr. Krabs

Give to the Children’s fund? What have the children ever done for me. —Mr. Krabs

I don’t get it. If a free salad bar won’t bring in new customers… what will? —Krabs

I was five years old and my father gave me a dollar. I loved that dollar. Loved it like a brother. Me and that dollar went everywhere together. —Mr. Krabs

That was the finest fast foodsmanship I’ve ever seen, Mr. SquarePants. —Mr. Krabs

Humorous quotes by Plankton
Ah, a few blobs of ink doesn’t prove a thing. I’m as evil as ever, I’ll prove it right now by stealing the Krabby Patty secret formula. —Plankton

F is for a fire that burns down the whole town, U is for Uranium…bombs! N is for no survivors. —Plankton

Goodbye everyone. I’ll remember you all in therapy. —Plankton

Holographic Meatloaf? My favorite! — Plankton

I don’t get it. No matter what I do, I always end up being squashed by someone bigger than me. —Plankton

I thought I was going to steal something. Can’t imagine why. So, I’m just enjoying this lovely day. —Plankton.

You’ll never get what you want if you always let people step on you. —Plankton

Hilarious Quotes by Patrick
Being grown up is boring. Besides, I don’t ‘get’ jazz. —Patrick

Can I have everybody’s attention?… I have to use the bathroom. —Patrick

Can you give SpongeBob his brain back, I had to borrow it for the week. —Patrick

Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are… —Patrick

I guess hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep. —Patrick

Ha, ha! It’s a giraffe!. —Patrick

Hello? Where’d everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt. —Patrick Star

I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow but the snow melted and turned into water and I drank all the water now I’m better. —Patrick

I’ve waited years for this moment. I’m gonna go in there, march straight up to the manager, look at him straight in the eye, lay it on the line, and – I can’t do it. —Patrick

Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems. —Patrick Star

Quotes by Flying Dutchman to Make you Giggle
Booooo! Prepare to be burdened with the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates. —Flying Dutchman

You’re part of my crew now, and our job is to sail around and frighten people. It’ll be grueling, mind-numbing, and repetitive. Just like… daytime television. —Flying Dutchman
Tell you what. You give me back the sock and I’ll give you… three wishes. —Flying Dutchman

Funny Quotes by Sandy
Boy, that critter put up some sort of fight, but as you can see, I’m from Texas, and no worm is a match for me. I even found my tail. —Sandy

Don’t you DARE take the name of Texas in vain. —Sandy

I’m hotter than a hickory smoked sausage. —Sandy

You’re about as ugly as homemade soup. —Sandy

Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you. —Sandy Cheeks

Quotes You’d Love to Tweet
Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you. —Sandy Cheeks Click To Tweet How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors. —Squidward Click To Tweet I can’t see my forehead!. —Patrick Click To Tweet I don’t get it. No matter what I do, I always end up being squashed by someone bigger than me. —Plankton Click To Tweet I knew I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed today. —Squidward Click To Tweet I thought I was going to steal something. Can’t imagine why. So, I’m just enjoying this lovely day. —Plankton. Click To Tweet It’s not always what you say that matters, sometimes it’s what you don’t say. —Mr. Krabs Click To Tweet Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems. —Patrick Star Click To TweetQuotes with Images
Download Best Funny Spongebob Quotes
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FAQs
How long has SpongeBob been on TV?
SpongeBob first aired on May 1, 1999.
Who are SpongeBob’s friends?
SpongeBob’s friends include Patrick Star, Sandy Cheeks, and Squidward Tentacles.
What is SpongeBob’s job?
SpongeBob is a fry cook at the Krusty Krab restaurant.
Where does SpongeBob live?
SpongeBob lives in a pineapple under the sea in Bikini Bottom.
What are some of SpongeBob’s hobbies?
Some of SpongeBob’s hobbies include jellyfishing and playing the clarinet.
What is SpongeBob’s favorite food?
SpongeBob’s favorite food is Krabby Patties.
What is SpongeBob’s favorite color?
SpongeBob’s favorite color is blue.
Conclusion
Thanks for reading! I hope these SpongeBob quotes brightened your day. Be sure to pass on the good vibes by sharing this post with your friends and loved ones. If you’re ever feeling down, remember that Life is full of surprises… and friends!
You can check other interesting quotes on this website – Ron Swanson’s quotes and Bane Quotes from The Dark Knight Rises.
You can also visit Wikipedia to learn more about SpongeBob.